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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (4265)
On 03/27/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Angel1000168 - Australia
Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17471) - you deserved it (5982)
On 02/25/2011 at 7:18am - misc - by Arlbethere (woman) - United Kingdom (Northumberland)
Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7452) - you deserved it (25253)
On 07/07/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by unit - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21218) - you deserved it (8789)
On 05/13/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by shit - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13111) - you deserved it (4653)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8590) - you deserved it (9636)
On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got off from work and noticed that the weather finally warmed up after the recent snowstorm. I hopped into my car and rolled down the windows. When I opened the sun roof, a foot of snow came falling into my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3760) - you deserved it (28132)
On 02/23/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Chris Altenbach - United States (Colorado)
Today, I moved out of my parents basement. After I hugged my parents I walked out the door only to remember I left my phone in the kitchen. I open the door and see my parents dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25757) - you deserved it (9560)
On 10/04/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by neverStopLaughin - United States (Colorado)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40979) - you deserved it (3399)
On 10/03/2009 at 7:43am - love - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50986) - you deserved it (2466)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of that smell of marijuana in the house. So I confess and tell her I will never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7873) - you deserved it (46263)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Dumbweed (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39718) - you deserved it (7434)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by anonymus (man) - United States
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53036) - you deserved it (3799)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47864) - you deserved it (7761)
On 04/01/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by Nutless (man) - United States (New York)
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