Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ian_from_0070

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

Ian_from_0070

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1264
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Ian_from_0070 : I play guitar. 12 string 6 string and 6string electric. I row for a sport and enjoy listening to music

Ian_from_0070's page activity

Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:34pm<b>thatonelosergirl</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:02pm<b>annapanda143</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:23am<b>windell</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:58pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:51pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:31pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:43am<b>Crystal_Nicole</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 3:40pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:52pm<b>aly_fml</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 9:23am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:20am<b>casual_commenter</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:35am<b>covertamerica</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 4:22am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:03pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 5:29pm<b>egh0sa</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 6:19pm<b>kaet</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 2:20pm<b>renaee</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 4:41pm

Ian_from_0070's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Ian_from_0070's badges

Ian_from_0070's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18385) - you deserved it (44215)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (7368)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

#20072637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22161) - you deserved it (2203)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23739) - you deserved it (2043)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (1935)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

#20018901
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (1754)

On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (2367)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13144) - you deserved it (41322)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

#19347272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26364) - you deserved it (2070)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35011) - you deserved it (5313)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

#19154802
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6965) - you deserved it (28850)

On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20613) - you deserved it (4150)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML

#19016945
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24991) - you deserved it (2779)

On 02/07/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by courtneynaked (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

#18980998
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28942) - you deserved it (7320)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: