Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ian_from_0070

Online | Search for a member

Ian_from_0070

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2908
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Ian_from_0070 : I play guitar. 12 string 6 string and 6string electric. I row for a sport and enjoy listening to music

Ian_from_0070's page activity

Visits<b>allirein369</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 5:48pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:33pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:22pm<b>annapanda143</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 2:04am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:34pm<b>thatonelosergirl</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:02pm<b>windell</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:58pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:51pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:31pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:43am<b>Crystal_Nicole</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 3:40pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:52pm<b>aly_fml</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 9:23am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:20am<b>casual_commenter</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:35am<b>covertamerica</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 4:22am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:03pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 5:29pm

Ian_from_0070's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Ian_from_0070's badges

Ian_from_0070's favorite FMLs

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51243) - you deserved it (3658)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59510) - you deserved it (37137)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42640) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51456) - you deserved it (9256)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

#20662282
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66028) - you deserved it (5172)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42600) - you deserved it (21158)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (41221)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52560) - you deserved it (21481)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83192) - you deserved it (4351)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27999) - you deserved it (4961)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37902) - you deserved it (12699)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

#20520975
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10834) - you deserved it (52555)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

#20498998
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32364) - you deserved it (8199)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: