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Iamthebatman333's favorite FMLs
Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML
by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML
by WhyThankYou / 07/26/2013 at 1:31am / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous
by FootinMouth / 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 3:01pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML
by ilivehere / 07/17/2013 at 10:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by leeceetaylor99 / 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Paige / 07/10/2013 at 10:18am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
by malicious_melons / 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
- Today I came out to my family as a lesbian. A few days ago, my brother came out as bisexual and my… Today, at my oldest sisters wedding she forgot something borrowed. she looked at me and said if I'm… Today, I had 45 minutes spare between appointments to do some work at the office. I needed to print…