Iamevil123

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Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 12:17pm)

Iamevil123

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1730
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Iamevil123 : Why hello there! Welcome to my delightful profile and, please, make yourself at home!

I'm just a normal guy with normal likes and dislikes and a 'warped' sense of humour.

Feel free to message me. :)

Urrrm yeah... That's pretty much it.

Iamevil123's page activity

Visits<b>bagelbaron</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:20pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:50pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:52am<b>Shrekie</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:10pm<b>dadyyo2214</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:09pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Zrtuy1</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 7:01pm<b>epic174</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:17pm<b>chazzywazzy654</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 2:21pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:32pm<b>Stryker78cRS</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 8:19am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 10:49am<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 9:51pm<b>bensparks</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 8:26pm<b>Alvarortor</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:59am<b>steal_this</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:48am<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 4:47am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 7:30am

Fucked!<b>Zrtuy1</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:01am

Iamevil123's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Iamevil123's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Health

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

by seekerglow176 / 04/27/2013 at 8:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

by hellostupid / 03/28/2013 at 4:19am / United States / Animals

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

by SierraDiaz2097 / 03/23/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

by eww. / 03/22/2013 at 1:28am / Australia / Love

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

by nohablaespanol / 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I spent an entire raffle game desperately praying that I'd lose miserably, just so I wouldn't have to go up on stage and accept it. FML

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

by ipaid350dollarsfornothing / 03/15/2013 at 3:09am / Qatar / Miscellaneous

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

by notapervert / 02/28/2013 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Love