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IamLexus

Offline (the 01/02/2014 at 7:41am) | Search for a member

IamLexus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 102
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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IamLexus's FML badges

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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IamLexus's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66538) - you deserved it (5554)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57437) - you deserved it (5998)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41089) - you deserved it (3221)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46537) - you deserved it (4320)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41776) - you deserved it (3741)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36292) - you deserved it (12257)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40488) - you deserved it (6284)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54345) - you deserved it (12187)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41357) - you deserved it (4580)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22028) - you deserved it (64819)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55723) - you deserved it (4414)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

#20857902
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64649) - you deserved it (3883)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML



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