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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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I_iz_epic

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I_iz_epic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 836
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About I_iz_epic : what more is there to say. I iz epic.

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I_iz_epic's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

#5887611 (335)

I agree, your life sucks (30001) - you deserved it (5612)

On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

#5875865 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (27781) - you deserved it (4887)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45752) - you deserved it (10322)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059 (274)

I agree, your life sucks (36198) - you deserved it (10501)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

#5162946 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (29117) - you deserved it (5451)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonalds. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

#5087862 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (36504) - you deserved it (2244)

On 09/06/2009 at 7:12pm - money - by effmylife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (56996) - you deserved it (1910)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had 2 cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML

#5061381 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (1349)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:16pm - health - by itsjustnotfair (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I figured out that a $40 phone case does not protect your $500 phone from a five year old throwing it off a fourth story balcony. FML

#5012990 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (5599)

On 09/03/2009 at 12:37am - kids - by eagerbeaver (man) - United States

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (11349) - you deserved it (26960)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

#5000239 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (35889) - you deserved it (4956)

On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

#4975580 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (9208) - you deserved it (30064)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

#4932229 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you deserved it (34673)

On 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm - animals - by lily (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

#3791674 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (64061) - you deserved it (2420)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503 (947)

I agree, your life sucks (18386) - you deserved it (160077)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)