Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About I_Suck_At_Life : My life sucks but I deal with it. Im only 11. About a year ago, on a school trip, I gave this girl that I loved a golden ring with her name engraved in it that costed over $100. She said shes too young and wanted to wait a few years before she started dating. I can understand her point we were 10. She kept the ring and didnt even offer to let me return it. Six months later she tells me she's dating my best friend. I tried not to get too pissed cuz hes my best friend. We were best friends since we were 5. It still pisses me off that she did that to me. She hates me. She still wears the ring just to make me mad. It works. Im pretty sure she doesnt want me to be best friends him. I dont know why she hates me. I never did anything wrong did I? I tried to be romantic. I love to draw animals with an immense amount of detail. Everyone tells me I'm really good at it. I love to snowboard but its harder right now cuz I broke my hand. I meditate every night. People say I act mature for 11.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, a customer opened with "you open bottles with them thangs?" I look around my desk for something he might confuse with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informs me he is talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML
Today, my dad had gotten a new cell phone. So I started to mess around with the cool features on his phone and stumbled upon some pictures he had taken. Next thing I know I'm looking at my mom going down on my dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft..." He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina which delightfully formed a crease. FML
Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML
Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML
Thursday 19 March 2015