About I_Hug_Cats : Miauw.
About I_Hug_Cats : Miauw.
I_Hug_Cats's FML badges
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I_Hug_Cats's favorite FMLs
by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2014 at 11:19am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by Nicole / 12/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy
by 1Nsan3 / 12/13/2014 at 1:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML
by MedStudent90 / 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML
by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm / Belgium / Love
Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML
by WTF / 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML
by gotta euthanize em all / 11/29/2014 at 2:45pm / Canada / Work
Today, I had to end a first date with the words, "You can get out of my car and go upstairs yourself, or I can come around and drag you out, bring you up the stairs, and knock on your door," because he'd gotten completely plastered in a span of about three hours. And yes, I had to drag him. FML
by nep012 / 11/27/2014 at 2:12am / United States / Love
Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML
by ohwell / 11/24/2014 at 8:44am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
by Studying is for crazy people. / 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 11:20am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML
by gspotter / 11/14/2014 at 4:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it… Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his… Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just…