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About I_Hug_Cats : Miauw.
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I proudly told my elitist dad tat I now ave a beautiful grlfriend. He didn't believe me... so I sowd im er Facebook. He demandd tat I stop seeing er... saying tat te duck-facing in er avatar was te allmark of ( a lower form of being ) wo would only ever same our family. fat FML
TODAY I WAS TOLD OFF 4 NOT HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN 4 A WOMAN BEHIND ME AT WORK!! YESTERDAY I WAS INFORMD THAT CHIVALRY IS OFFENSIVE TO WOMEN, AS IT IMPLIES THAT THEY ARE NOT EQUAL TO MEN!! I CAN'T WIN!! FML
TODAY, I ASKED MY GRLFRIEND WY SE NEVER LETS ME IN ER OUSE. SE STARED BLANKLY AND SAID, "WAT IS INSIDE IS NOT FOR TINE EYES." I TOLD ER BEST FRIEND ABOUT TIS CREEPINES LATER ON. SE SIGED AND SAID, "T'WAS NOT FOR MINE EYES EITER. I DIDST FAIL TO LISTEN." I FEEL LIKE I'M LOOSING MY MIND ERE. FML
Today, I was using a public toilethen someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML
Today,ile at te beac, as a joke, I told my girlfriend tat I was a sark. Se ten poked my eyes and punced me in te nose. Wen I started to get mad, se just srugged and asked, "Wat? You're te one tat wanted to be a sark. Don't you watc Sark Week?" FML
Today, it's day two of ma family's camping trip. Despite te weater, bugs, and portapotties, we were doing okay, until te can opener broke. My usband is stubbornly insisting tat we live off cereal and peanut butter for anoter five days. mega FML
Today , I confronted mah husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us fir the last three years , we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing mah money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML
Today while at my cosmetic job an elderly lady came up to me asking fir a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size fir a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size cuz she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML
Today mah boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well until he tried to putted it in. A few minutes later he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
TODAY, WHILE DRIVING HOME FROM WORK, I NOTICED THE DRIVER NEXT TO ME WAS HAPPILY CHATTING ON HER PHONE . I FUCKING DESPISE THESE WOULD-BE MURDERERS, SO I SLAMMED MY HORN TO SIGNAL MY DISGUST . SHE PANICKED AND SWERVED STRAIGHT INTO MY CAR . FML
TODAY AT THE BEACH, MAH BOYFRIEND PICKD ME UP AND CARRID ME OVER HIS SHOULDER. I FELT MAH BIKINI TOP COME UNDONE IN THE PROCESS. I PANICKD AND PULLD DOWN ON HIS SHORTS. WE WERE FIND FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE. FML
Friday 27 March 2015