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I_Am_Lamp_

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I_Am_Lamp_

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 475
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About I_Am_Lamp_ : Yes...come hither my dear child...into the realm of this dystopian website...

I_Am_Lamp_'s page activity

Visits<b>Metcape</b> - 10 hours ago<b>dylanger16</b> - yesterday at 8:19pm<b>Helen_1988</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:07pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:05pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:44am<b>PoisonOrchid</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:33pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 6:43pm<b>MissHeartSihk</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:06am<b>monisv</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:22pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:29pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Dozer1988</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:11am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 8:59am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:23pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 5:23pm<b>thenick_m</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 10:24pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:17am

Liked!<b>dylanger16</b> - yesterday at 2:19am

I_Am_Lamp_'s FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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I_Am_Lamp_'s favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37102) - you deserved it (2511)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (3532)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39611) - you deserved it (3630)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35141) - you deserved it (3231)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48183) - you deserved it (2453)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40373) - you deserved it (7717)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31631) - you deserved it (7406)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42341) - you deserved it (4400)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34851) - you deserved it (8661)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37860) - you deserved it (2789)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

#21246638
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20008) - you deserved it (41267)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm - misc - by Woops (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (42204)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

#21245733
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40891) - you deserved it (3559)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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