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I_Am_Lamp_

Offline (the 05/28/2015 at 8:28am) | Search for a member

I_Am_Lamp_

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3224
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About I_Am_Lamp_ : Yes...come hither my dear child...into the realm of this dystopian website...

I_Am_Lamp_'s page activity

Visits<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 1:54am<b>tranced_</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:12am<b>EpicKassi</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:42am<b>joanna1995</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 8:40pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:31pm<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:50pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:47pm<b>Miizuo</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:39am<b>kaseycat</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 4:21pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:56pm<b>moodsoflol</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:39pm<b>TheBelt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:35pm<b>nap_thyme</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:00am<b>antonaijamese</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:04pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:46am<b>SerendipityRose</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 9:54am<b>lukian</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:31pm<b>BMACS02</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:23pm

Fucked!<b>tranced_</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 4:12pm<b>EpicKassi</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:43pm<b>joanna1995</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 8:33am<b>SerendipityRose</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:54pm<b>nap_thyme</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:25pm<b>jenamalone</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:14am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:16am<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 3:33am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:48pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:03pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:44am<b>shiffizzle</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:03am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:03am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:27am<b>ChampHero</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:10pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:02am<b>vampy719</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:01pm<b>xsydneyx123</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:22am

I_Am_Lamp_'s FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of I_Am_Lamp_'s badges

I_Am_Lamp_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27988) - you deserved it (10069)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML

#21397585
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30115) - you deserved it (3162)

On 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Notthatone (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

#21392908
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (5645)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML

#21388350
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (4776)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45993) - you deserved it (3357)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

#21380308
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (2441)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:19pm - misc - by jumanji (man) -

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25931) - you deserved it (3104)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

#21376642
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33811) - you deserved it (4582)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by Idigrespectfulattire (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33085) - you deserved it (3347)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (3338)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30032) - you deserved it (3182)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29965) - you deserved it (4108)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML

#21356993
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34730) - you deserved it (2338)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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