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I_Am_Lamp_

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I_Am_Lamp_

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 621
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About I_Am_Lamp_ : Yes...come hither my dear child...into the realm of this dystopian website...

I_Am_Lamp_'s page activity

Visits<b>devildog562</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Metcape</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Tuffmuffin</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 3:23pm<b>leNada</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:30am<b>abdiG</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:51pm<b>silly_rabbit387</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:04pm<b>thedeej</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:42am<b>kerripjones</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:47pm<b>LovableShannon</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:16pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:18pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:39pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:29pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:56pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:27pm<b>MissHeartSihk</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 12:04pm<b>Toolishing</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:09pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:56pm

Liked!<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:39pm<b>Toolishing</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:11am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:19am

I_Am_Lamp_'s FML badges

Socialite

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of I_Am_Lamp_'s badges

I_Am_Lamp_'s favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32065) - you deserved it (4425)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46554) - you deserved it (3833)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

#21271662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35900) - you deserved it (7234)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm - health - by PickYourselfUp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29878) - you deserved it (3791)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37912) - you deserved it (9771)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

#21261280
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34601) - you deserved it (13200)

On 09/19/2014 at 2:34pm - kids - by hypercrite dad (man) - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38756) - you deserved it (2755)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36649) - you deserved it (3558)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41043) - you deserved it (3679)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35626) - you deserved it (3242)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50451) - you deserved it (2479)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41648) - you deserved it (7857)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32886) - you deserved it (7613)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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