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I_Am_Lamp_

Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 3:30pm) | Search for a member

I_Am_Lamp_

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1017
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About I_Am_Lamp_ : Yes...come hither my dear child...into the realm of this dystopian website...

I_Am_Lamp_'s page activity

Visits<b>Metcape</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 3:39pm<b>423</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 6:53pm<b>birdman00</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:25pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 2:48am<b>Tuffmuffin</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 3:23pm<b>leNada</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:30am<b>abdiG</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:51pm<b>silly_rabbit387</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:04pm<b>thedeej</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:42am<b>kerripjones</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:47pm<b>LovableShannon</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:16pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:18pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:39pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:29pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:56pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:27pm<b>MissHeartSihk</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 12:04pm

Liked!<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:39pm<b>Toolishing</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:11am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:19am

I_Am_Lamp_'s FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of I_Am_Lamp_'s badges

I_Am_Lamp_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30446) - you deserved it (6336)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40777) - you deserved it (2731)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28763) - you deserved it (2483)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

#21308108
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (5786)

On 11/29/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by come on man (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me over some rumors he heard about me. These rumors are from high-school, seven years ago. FML

#21297338
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34202) - you deserved it (2941)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:31pm - love - by ugh - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML

#21293619
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (3622)

On 11/06/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by really - United States

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36397) - you deserved it (2407)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36331) - you deserved it (2415)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37600) - you deserved it (10604)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33832) - you deserved it (2560)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31523) - you deserved it (3136)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34677) - you deserved it (7754)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36955) - you deserved it (10790)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35778) - you deserved it (2918)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41204) - you deserved it (5019)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)



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