IT_Nird95

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IT_Nird95

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About IT_Nird95 : I hate it when people submit FMLs using grammar and spelling that could be bested by a 2 year old. Its not hard to proofread your FML before submitting it, and your chances of it getting approved will be a hell of a lot higher.

IT_Nird95's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 2:52am<b>burnthistown</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 3:45pm<b>djcity</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 6:27am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 7:53pm<b>supergirl78</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 5:18pm<b>gczizza1997</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 7:10am<b>edgarallanwoe</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 2:21am<b>Miranda11211</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 9:39pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 9:37am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 1:42am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 3:05pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 12:27am<b>redblueflame</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 2:23pm

IT_Nird95's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of IT_Nird95's badges

IT_Nird95's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 13 year old fishing off the pier for dogfish. The only thing he caught was a piece of my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2013 at 2:49am / United States / Kids

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

by justme / 11/02/2013 at 9:21am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

by nl4 / 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

by blackcat37 / 09/28/2013 at 6:53am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

by numbnuts / 09/23/2013 at 1:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

by Parental Support / 08/30/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

by xxSecretAngelxx / 08/19/2013 at 2:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous