About ILikeSloths : I like sloths. A lot.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was doing the laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64) - you deserved it (41338)
On 06/10/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by potpurri_needed (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7710) - you deserved it (39635)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9345) - you deserved it (42180)
On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States
Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50267) - you deserved it (5201)
On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64219) - you deserved it (10298)
On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (41360)
On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11430) - you deserved it (102674)
On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7851) - you deserved it (70584)
On 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22192) - you deserved it (37696)
On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32260) - you deserved it (59039)
On 04/05/2009 at 9:48am - work - by 00Evan (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21758) - you deserved it (43010)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45556) - you deserved it (60688)
On 04/01/2009 at 12:51pm - work - by tsardaukar (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10147) - you deserved it (156319)
On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54143) - you deserved it (424448)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20222) - you deserved it (62097)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by ohhotdamn (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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