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ILikeSloths

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ILikeSloths

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 January 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 732
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ILikeSloths : I like sloths. A lot.

ILikeSloths's page activity

Visits<b>Beeftinkle</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 8:24am

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ILikeSloths's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

#6968150
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29290) - you deserved it (3638)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my pit bull after three weeks of frantic searching. When we returned home, I put out food and water for him. I went to get him and found him in my room, wagging his tail at me. He had peed on my comforter, freshly folded clothes, and new 60 dollar winter coat. Welcome home, Caine. FML

#6602285
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22675) - you deserved it (5956)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by dogless (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I posted a note on Facebook about a weird dream I had about my ex-boyfriend, where I made out with him, then it transitioned into a vampires vs. werewolves battle. My ex private messages me and says there's a better chance of a vampires vs. werewolves battle than us ever making out again. FML

#6584536
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9069) - you deserved it (41811)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by ohiochibi (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45693) - you deserved it (2978)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

#6420890
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (4327)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML

#5970435
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7954) - you deserved it (125033)

On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

#5887611
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38723) - you deserved it (7830)

On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6762) - you deserved it (46514)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

#5560413
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33215) - you deserved it (3653)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML

#5541044
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65687) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML

#5319261
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36646) - you deserved it (4677)

On 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm - kids - by Sadmom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

#5068921
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16832) - you deserved it (46082)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML

#4813965
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (10399)

On 08/25/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Cossack_Man (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML

#4813965
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (10399)

On 08/25/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Cossack_Man (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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