About ILikeSloths : I like sloths. A lot.
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ILikeSloths's favorite FMLs
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
by power corrupts... / 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm / Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous
by kaplwv116 / 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 4:19am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML
by cathouse / 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm / United Kingdom (North Down) / Animals
Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous
by Camille / 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Maine) / Work
Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML
by LexiBoBexi / 07/12/2010 at 1:38am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML
by xricardo / 06/04/2010 at 8:52pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
by bleredoshia / 04/08/2010 at 12:27am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids
by aaalias34 / 02/26/2010 at 6:13am / United States (California) / Animals
by JK / 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…