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ILikeSloths

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ILikeSloths

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 January 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 618
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ILikeSloths : I like sloths. A lot.

ILikeSloths's page activity

Visits<b>Beeftinkle</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 8:24am

ILikeSloths's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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50 favourites

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ILikeSloths's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49295) - you deserved it (13932)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (9575)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34048) - you deserved it (5800)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29563) - you deserved it (3898)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48631) - you deserved it (5856)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40816) - you deserved it (4256)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30735) - you deserved it (8784)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49360) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12775) - you deserved it (42018)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20999) - you deserved it (1632)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11467) - you deserved it (23847)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25042) - you deserved it (5505)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

#20107287
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29187) - you deserved it (1895)

On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

#19948204
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (1816)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Quebec)



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