Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

IKickPuppiesHard

Search for a member

IKickPuppiesHard
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1695
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About IKickPuppiesHard : Fuck social norms. I shall say what I want with no regrets. If you do not like that then awesome; thats your opinion but once you attempt to pass your opinion off as fact to me I WILL shut you down. Now have a nice day.

IKickPuppiesHard's last visitors

xDochxMissMiranda93skittycat213gedShatteredRubikskittiesartemisrox98CloudEnvyUrCapsLockOnMr_Alarm

IKickPuppiesHard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of IKickPuppiesHard's badges

IKickPuppiesHard's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at Disneyland with a friend. We were watching the light show, and when Tinkerbell came out, we both started crying. Some guy noticed and called us "fucking pussies". FML

#18862954
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8755) - you deserved it (37856)

On 01/20/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by sharky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32632) - you deserved it (9600)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7178) - you deserved it (43611)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

#18850090
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (2568)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

#18847720
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20760) - you deserved it (2467)

On 01/18/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by iliterallypoopedmyself (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

#18811404
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27429) - you deserved it (6185)

On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (49609)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12872) - you deserved it (22712)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

#18728247
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26552) - you deserved it (2378)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Gemma - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27408) - you deserved it (7422)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41585) - you deserved it (8918)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26669) - you deserved it (4835)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17210) - you deserved it (3202)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
273 comments

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13364) - you deserved it (34593)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: