Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

IKickPuppiesHard

Search for a member

IKickPuppiesHard

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2074
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About IKickPuppiesHard : Fuck social norms. I shall say what I want with no regrets. If you do not like that then awesome; thats your opinion but once you attempt to pass your opinion off as fact to me I WILL shut you down. Now have a nice day.

IKickPuppiesHard's page activity

Visits<b>bigbertha22</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:51pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:50pm<b>AllStache</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:56pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:55pm<b>DeathMetalSlam</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 6:22pm<b>WordAficionada</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 4:06am<b>boomboom838</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 10:49pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 10:52pm<b>MissMiranda93</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 2:41pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 7:23pm<b>ged</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 1:11pm<b>ShatteredRubiks</b> - the 01/14/2012 at 10:27pm<b>kitties</b> - the 12/24/2011 at 7:14pm<b>artemisrox98</b> - the 12/24/2011 at 4:48pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 12/18/2011 at 3:19pm<b>i_hate_mondays</b> - the 12/18/2011 at 1:24pm<b>UrCapsLockOn</b> - the 12/17/2011 at 4:11pm<b>Mr_Alarm</b> - the 11/19/2011 at 4:03pm

IKickPuppiesHard's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of IKickPuppiesHard's badges

IKickPuppiesHard's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54294) - you deserved it (27787)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

#3862614
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47090) - you deserved it (7260)

On 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by xobeachbabi428ox - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML

#3718227
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49388) - you deserved it (20077)

On 07/13/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by Solemnwishing (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44783) - you deserved it (26717)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

#3025655
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45612) - you deserved it (19102)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by ilikeirishducks (woman) - Italy

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

#3025655
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45612) - you deserved it (19102)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by ilikeirishducks (woman) - Italy

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

#2482852
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48374) - you deserved it (7678)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

#2074546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62328) - you deserved it (7943)

On 05/19/2009 at 6:13am - misc - by notnerb - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76669) - you deserved it (23362)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

#1744807
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51960) - you deserved it (12464)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

#1225689
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68335) - you deserved it (8518)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML

#925174
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67520) - you deserved it (8679)

On 04/12/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: