Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

IKickPuppiesHard

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

IKickPuppiesHard

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2569
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About IKickPuppiesHard : Good day fellow fmlers. Just call me Puppy Kicker!

IKickPuppiesHard's page activity

Visits<b>omgbrainZ</b> - yesterday at 11:12am<b>kittyfrozen</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:43pm<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:58pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:30pm<b>Ashafarah</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:42pm<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:22pm<b>feven</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 8:23pm<b>nechelle365</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 4:21pm<b>HyoRyu</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:09pm<b>messedup4ever</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:56pm<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:21am<b>titandesu</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:21am<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:01am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:19am<b>iti</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:01am<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:07pm<b>candyolympics</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 3:28pm

IKickPuppiesHard's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of IKickPuppiesHard's badges

IKickPuppiesHard's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

#14842863
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (6381)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by nosleep (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18658) - you deserved it (64802)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33036) - you deserved it (5666) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33036) - you deserved it (5666) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21170) - you deserved it (9659)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

#14545580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (2722)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML

#14545291
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14466) - you deserved it (30869)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

#14521055
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (3460)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

#14413679
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (5735)

On 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by edulover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

#14393948
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (5516)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -

Today, my brother asked if he could borrow my razor, since he recently hit puberty and wanted to have a shave. I decided to be nice and let him. When he returned it half an hour later, I couldn't help but notice his facial hair was untouched. FML

#14329924
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35739) - you deserved it (7374)

On 12/25/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31375) - you deserved it (3697)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41110) - you deserved it (5422)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

#13894998
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25754) - you deserved it (3357)

On 11/19/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Amanda -

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

#13879750
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30639) - you deserved it (7942)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: