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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42868) - you deserved it (5429)
On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand
Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48369) - you deserved it (6845)
On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)
Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24882) - you deserved it (2684)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39671) - you deserved it (11321)
On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37410) - you deserved it (6430)
On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44601) - you deserved it (7276)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15964) - you deserved it (1179)
On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21968) - you deserved it (1250)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States
Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14981) - you deserved it (885)
On 10/20/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by iamsolid - United States
Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16915) - you deserved it (1085)
On 10/19/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by NoorFML - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversley impacting morale". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11841) - you deserved it (1205)
On 10/18/2012 at 3:40pm - work - by johnnyfuckfacer (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (3393)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (2273)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14528) - you deserved it (1473)
On 08/28/2012 at 11:56am - love - by StillBetterThanTwilight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18044) - you deserved it (2085) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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