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IAmNotAnAnimal's favorite FMLs
Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML
by god / 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous
by MiscHats / 12/14/2012 at 7:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
by mel_bear_ / 03/14/2012 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
by maniac11 / 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by shilpajayseanfan / 02/24/2009 at 8:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
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- Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's… Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced… Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with…
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…