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Offline (the 10/13/2014 at 3:27pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1399
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About IAmNotAnAnimal : 'Tis but a scratch!

IAmNotAnAnimal's page activity

Visits<b>cutsiecurliee</b> - the 11/12/2016 at 11:05pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 5:46am<b>Roxy4102</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:41pm<b>Burgerito</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:16pm<b>Azurexorcist</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:43pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:38pm<b>shitidied</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 7:22pm<b>What2D0</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:41pm<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:27pm<b>japcrap</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:32pm<b>cj75</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 6:42am<b>khalek</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:32am<b>adamant84</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:49pm<b>steftriv</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:17am<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:42pm<b>feven</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:42pm<b>andthisispatches</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:05pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:40am

Fucked!<b>cutsiecurliee</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 5:05am<b>Azurexorcist</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:43pm<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 5:27am

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IAmNotAnAnimal's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

by god / 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

by MiscHats / 12/14/2012 at 7:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

by mel_bear_ / 03/14/2012 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

by maniac11 / 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

by shilpajayseanfan / 02/24/2009 at 8:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

by alf / 10/26/2008 at 10:34pm / Love