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HylianTwilight

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HylianTwilight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 308
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About HylianTwilight : I love my dog. I've lurked in FML for the past couple years, but never partook in the daily activities that seem to go along here. I may not be a regular commenter, but when I see fit to put in my opinion, I make it logical. I appreciate puns and tip my hat to those who can pull off multiples in one comment. Kudos! I'm a quiet sorta gal, and I don't appreciate rudeness. If one is rude to me, I dish it back out equally. But, I love a smile and laughter more. So smile!

HylianTwilight's page activity

Visits<b>petrolhead</b> - 57 minutes ago<b>dat_becky</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Theloststranger</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Swedish_Eagle</b> - yesterday at 8:33am<b>Rayes</b> - yesterday at 4:21am<b>fml85483</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:58pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:42pm<b>KayDee29</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 6:10am<b>Dcguitarman1996</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:19pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:58pm<b>DaFoo</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:09pm<b>relaxedninja</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:04am<b>cohenb93</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:33pm<b>black_day</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:44pm<b>MsJewelable</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:03am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:12pm<b>sbrown1234567890</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:51am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:29pm

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HylianTwilight's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39668) - you deserved it (6080)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39828) - you deserved it (16627)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I couldn't find my vibrator. After searching for an hour I decided to ask my husband. He quickly shook his head no. We've been married for ten years. I know when he's lying. FML

#21190761
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40473) - you deserved it (8476)

On 06/27/2014 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

#21170877
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46518) - you deserved it (4075)

On 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm - misc - by NextTimeMom'sDriving (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46207) - you deserved it (6392)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

#21141320
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46462) - you deserved it (3850)

On 05/15/2014 at 11:15pm - kids - by madbirthdaymomma (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31523) - you deserved it (50611)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

#21138395
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48688) - you deserved it (7454)

On 05/13/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55033) - you deserved it (7042)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, some thieves broke into my church and stole our cameras, monitors, and some other hardware. We were planning to use them for the security system we were about to install. FML

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

#21133397
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (55541)

On 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by I suck :( (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42042) - you deserved it (5508)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work, I served a group of three teens. Their tab was $75 and they tipped me nothing. They wrote a thank you on a piece of receipt paper, put it in a glass of water and used a coaster to turn the glass of water upside down on the table, spilling water everywhere. They also stole my pen. FML

#21125158
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49582) - you deserved it (3978)

On 04/28/2014 at 9:35am - work - by brerj09 - United States (Minnesota)



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