Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

HylianTwilight

Search for a member

HylianTwilight
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 May 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 63
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About HylianTwilight : I love my dog. Just the 'average' user who wastes away on FML. Just recently started to use my account. I love Legend of Zelda. I hate Twilight.

HylianTwilight's last visitors

k_gilsbabygurll19SBittickWaistDownUnderR3TROxLOV3adubzdoesitschwakaSemperfi92340martin8337MetalManiacHappystillalive33

HylianTwilight's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of HylianTwilight's badges

HylianTwilight's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

#21084613
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42105) - you deserved it (2697)

On 03/12/2014 at 2:39am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36252) - you deserved it (5258)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the self-checkout line at Walmart. When I tried to pay, the cash wouldn't go in, so I stood there trying to cram money into the thing that's supposed to take your money. What I didn't realize was that there was a sign up top that said: "No Cash. Cards Only." FML

#21070121
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15260) - you deserved it (35217)

On 02/24/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by I hate Walmart???? - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

#20988758
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39743) - you deserved it (6307)

On 12/11/2013 at 8:14am - misc - by pootie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (9559)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML

#15570685
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20321) - you deserved it (11686)

On 03/31/2011 at 1:49am - health - by foreverafatty (woman) - United States (Nevada)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: