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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40173) - you deserved it (3035) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35698) - you deserved it (4908)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35698) - you deserved it (4908)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22988) - you deserved it (3393)
On 01/08/2011 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19200) - you deserved it (4985)
On 12/19/2010 at 3:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19200) - you deserved it (4985)
On 12/19/2010 at 3:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7040) - you deserved it (16797)
On 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm - misc - by me - United States
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (7174)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (7174)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (7174)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (7174)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (7174)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (7174)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (7174)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (7174)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Monday 17 June 2013
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