This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24221) - you deserved it (8012) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8423) - you deserved it (26818)
On 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm - work - by Meg - United States (Florida)
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8434) - you deserved it (57416) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8434) - you deserved it (57416) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (2304)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35808) - you deserved it (2399)
On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35808) - you deserved it (2399)
On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States
Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11229) - you deserved it (32366)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11229) - you deserved it (32366)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22861) - you deserved it (6184)
On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22861) - you deserved it (6184)
On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23937) - you deserved it (3219)
On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (21466)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (21466)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (8814)
On 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
