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Humperdick

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Humperdick
  • Town/Country : Alpharetta, 'MURICA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 September 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 512
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Humperdick : I'm a girl.

Humperdick's last visitors

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Humperdick's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Humperdick's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

#13954362
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20938) - you deserved it (3564)

On 11/23/2010 at 9:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

#13925294
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (2175)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

#13863853
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40283) - you deserved it (9197)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by nicolette5785452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16547) - you deserved it (40048)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21237) - you deserved it (11906)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

#12296527
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (3276)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML

#11001063
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (1929)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by justdancebbyx3 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML

#10994237
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34262) - you deserved it (3320)

On 06/05/2010 at 7:49pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

#7898560
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9517) - you deserved it (28355)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:33am - health - by Holly - United States

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

#7160952
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (4552)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

Today, after having paid to download an iPhone FML app, I found out that the real 'Fmylife Official' app was a lot more complete. And free. FML

#6567661
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9193) - you deserved it (37955)

On 12/02/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by Fmyapp (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

#6253636
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (3219)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:55am - money - by whoawhat (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

#6247099
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9049) - you deserved it (67061)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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