Humperdick

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Humperdick

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 September 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1486
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Humperdick : I'm a girl.

Humperdick's page activity

Visits<b>Sriehl</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 10:44am

Humperdick's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Humperdick's favorite FMLs

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 9:37pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 1:44pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

by nicolette5785452 / 11/16/2010 at 10:34am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

by caughtorangehanded / 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

by yogapants / 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Health

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

by jkin47 / 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML

by justdancebbyx3 / 06/06/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML

by ugh / 06/05/2010 at 7:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

by Holly / 02/05/2010 at 2:33am / United States / Health

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 7:49am / India (Madhya Pradesh) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

by Inner5YearOld / 12/11/2009 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after having paid to download an iPhone FML app, I found out that the real 'Fmylife Official' app was a lot more complete. And free. FML

by Fmyapp / 12/02/2009 at 12:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

by whoawhat / 11/11/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML

by RedLion23 / 11/03/2009 at 3:08pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous