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Humperdick

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Humperdick

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 September 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 701
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Humperdick : I'm a girl.

Humperdick's page activity

Visits<b>Sriehl</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 10:44am

Humperdick's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Humperdick's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (3069)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13269) - you deserved it (169284)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

#19504672
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24558) - you deserved it (4395)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39085) - you deserved it (2440)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

#19233379
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (28039)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42067) - you deserved it (9131)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I was looking through my boyfriend's Facebook photos, when I saw a recent comment by one of his friends asking how his night out with "Danielle" went. He replied: "Dude, keep that shit on the down-low." We've been dating for over a year. FML

#18927532
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30491) - you deserved it (2779)

On 01/27/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by Cheating (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML

#18524241
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27858) - you deserved it (24758)

On 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by Oja1 - United States (Montana)

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18615) - you deserved it (17284)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's "therapy" meetings have been with my best friend, in his truck. FML

#18286788
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (3563)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:20am - intimacy - by Aleial - United States

Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML

#18044835
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14919) - you deserved it (58114)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (4572)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10305) - you deserved it (34236)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32557) - you deserved it (2885)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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