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Humburrito

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Humburrito

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  • Number of visits : 80
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Humburrito's page activity

Visits<b>mufster</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 12:09pm

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Humburrito's favorite FMLs

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (3256)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

#20963690
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43696) - you deserved it (3419)

On 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm - love - by unwantedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55407) - you deserved it (8439)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45207) - you deserved it (2951)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

#20963285
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43288) - you deserved it (2552)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

#20963219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43907) - you deserved it (2490)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29419) - you deserved it (44303)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

#20959350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43908) - you deserved it (3960)

On 11/16/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by CODgirl102 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44530) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

#20959084
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36841) - you deserved it (5666)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40556) - you deserved it (2721)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

#20957769
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36677) - you deserved it (2677)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by AshlynnPrime - United States (Kentucky)



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