Hornedone

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Hornedone

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3382
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Hornedone's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 10:01am<b>lionqueen1400</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 2:40am<b>vballgirly28</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 7:44pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 4:02pm<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:08pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 8:14pm

Hornedone's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Hornedone's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

by Sammy / 02/25/2013 at 2:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

by stillfuckingcrying / 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm / Sweden (Kalmar Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

by singleandthankful / 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Love

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 11:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

by gassy / 02/12/2013 at 9:18am / United States / Love

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

by Stoopiddogbot / 02/12/2013 at 8:18am / United Kingdom (Swansea) / Animals

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

by firestar772 / 02/11/2013 at 10:48am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

by akasoor / 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

by akasoor / 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

by littlemiss / 02/10/2013 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 12:13am / United States / Love

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 12:13am / United States / Love

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 12:08am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Intimacy