Hornedone

Search for a member

Hornedone

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3923
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Hornedone's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 10:01am<b>lionqueen1400</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 2:40am<b>vballgirly28</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 7:44pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 4:02pm<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:08pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 8:14pm

Hornedone's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Hornedone's badges

Hornedone's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

by BadBreath / 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

by willywonks / 03/21/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

by hipprep83 / 03/20/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML

by icantdrive / 03/19/2009 at 12:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 6:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

by nutsucker / 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

by nutsucker / 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

by cjk004 / 02/15/2009 at 6:35am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

by Biggest Jerk / 02/14/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

by ottawaaa / 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

by ottawaaa / 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was doing a local search at SexSearch.com and I found my sister's profile. FML

by shocked1 / 01/07/2009 at 10:22am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML

by pop / 12/28/2008 at 8:41pm / Love

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

by Mateo / 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm / Intimacy