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Horde

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Horde
  • Town/Country : Hungary
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 October 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 53573
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Horde : It's Hammer Time!

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Horde's favorite FMLs

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29012) - you deserved it (86336)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (13123)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

#16207509
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23652) - you deserved it (32854)

On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (58351)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML

#16148221
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32302) - you deserved it (7668)

On 05/12/2011 at 7:34pm - love - by dammitvasquez - Canada

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

#16144015
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11857) - you deserved it (49383)

On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

#16122609
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39906) - you deserved it (6747)

On 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17193) - you deserved it (61497)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML

#16028485
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (24164)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:22am - misc - by AE86Turbo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was crying. I thought I would be a good Samaritan and see if he was okay. After 15 minutes of hearing about how much his life sucked, he mugged me. FML

#16025758
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28895) - you deserved it (7276)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by kimftwxox - United Kingdom

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

#16019769
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (2074)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by teinage - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

#15956322
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30578) - you deserved it (5942)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by suckishbf (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

#15949652
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43478) - you deserved it (3234)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by disfunctionalfamily (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63706) - you deserved it (7212)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

#15946238
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30065) - you deserved it (3274)

On 04/27/2011 at 6:50am - health - by c.m.g. -



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