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HopelesslyCiara5's favorite FMLs
Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML
by embarrassed / 07/03/2010 at 3:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML
by Chichensoup / 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, at work a really hot guy came up to me and asked "what are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4 but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said "I meant your store hours". He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML
by Dumbdumb / 02/15/2010 at 9:29am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
by Concussed / 01/17/2010 at 1:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Narehs / 01/12/2010 at 8:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Cathy / 12/14/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
by michelle91 / 12/02/2009 at 6:36am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 12:44pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Love
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by screwed / 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML
by weddingcrashed / 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Mark / 08/13/2009 at 6:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop was hot so I flirted with him as much as I could. But when he came back to the car he still gave me a ticket. Feeling desperate I said, "I thought you didn't give tickets to pretty girls." His response: "We don't." FML
by Anonymous / 07/31/2009 at 9:51am / United States (Utah) / Transportation
by Anon / 07/27/2009 at 3:32am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
- Today, I decided to take the train to go to a summer camp a few cities away. I waited. And waited.… Today, My sister called my boyfriend by my ex's name. I haven't been with my ex for six years. Now,… Today, I am at work as a programmer. It's 32°C/90°F outside and my coworker needs to have 3 desktop…