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HopelessDrramer's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by DieTrying / 02/02/2012 at 4:31am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by dragonmirado / 01/25/2012 at 1:23am / China / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend told me we've just been fuck buddies for the entire year we've been "together." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't working up the courage to propose to her on our anniversary. FML
by anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 10:59am / United States / Intimacy
by thosedamnkids / 01/22/2012 at 12:09am / United States (New York) / Kids
by brando2k5 / 12/06/2011 at 12:05am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous
by Rumpkis / 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Korisite / 10/30/2011 at 1:31am / United States / Intimacy
by backstabbed / 10/29/2011 at 3:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
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- Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards,… Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got…