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Holysamster

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Holysamster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3734
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Holysamster : Nothing much

Holysamster's page activity

Visits<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 12/19/2011 at 2:53am<b>farhil</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 7:49pm<b>Kotvic</b> - the 09/01/2011 at 2:56pm<b>Shsubearkat</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 12:29am

Holysamster's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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Holysamster's favorite FMLs

Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed her ass. She turned around and slapped me. FML

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

#17618685
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9634) - you deserved it (27624)

On 08/30/2011 at 2:30am - work - by rojin12 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML

#17612876
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (2068)

On 08/29/2011 at 2:47pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

#17612047
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12098) - you deserved it (52479)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (4645)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38268) - you deserved it (2797)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36803) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (9370)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34714) - you deserved it (9619)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31769) - you deserved it (4275)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34293) - you deserved it (9863)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34571) - you deserved it (3444)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48021) - you deserved it (2389)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (7814)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53170) - you deserved it (3269)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)



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