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Offline (the 10/20/2015 at 3:57am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 April 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1046
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Holmes27's page activity

Visits<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 9:16pm<b>Ashgeliton</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:54am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:52am<b>luminalunii69</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:46pm<b>rncannon</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 5:49pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 8:50pm<b>sophiurr</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 6:44pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:14am<b>AFaye3964</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:30am<b>Camille0498</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:38am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 4:21pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 2:41am

Holmes27's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Holmes27's badges

Holmes27's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm / Argentina / Health

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

by violated ._. / 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm / United States / Animals

Today, after a church service, a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes and politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands, the bitch snatched my purse and ran. FML

by HillaryAngelic / 07/22/2013 at 3:09am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

by SierraCheyenne / 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

by BIGCHEIFAAA / 04/24/2013 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

by Unluckiest Guy of the group / 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

by Username / 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals