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Hlperez

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Hlperez

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2795
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Hlperez's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:44am

Hlperez's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Hlperez's favorite FMLs

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (12352)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

#14143329
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34597) - you deserved it (5096)

On 12/09/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48085) - you deserved it (5596)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (10543)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML

#14035963
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7907) - you deserved it (25764)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:49pm - work - by oopsididitagain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

#13879750
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31774) - you deserved it (8111)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11791) - you deserved it (49891)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

#13770099
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33450) - you deserved it (4694)

On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

#13687643
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12671) - you deserved it (32344)

On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (7991)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35860) - you deserved it (20926)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35860) - you deserved it (20926)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)



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