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Hlperez

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Hlperez

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3045
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Hlperez's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:44am

Hlperez's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Hlperez's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31250) - you deserved it (11551)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

#15905908
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (6811)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84203) - you deserved it (6315)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33071) - you deserved it (16592)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML

#15831633
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11130) - you deserved it (54193)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:09am - kids - by B (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (52472)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46727) - you deserved it (7048)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML

#15772637
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9071) - you deserved it (63057)

On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (38220)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34580) - you deserved it (13190)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (4942)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

#15637668
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39064) - you deserved it (21243)

On 04/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by lynn777 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47048) - you deserved it (13933)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72904) - you deserved it (5896)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19431) - you deserved it (53466)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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