Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hlperez

Search for a member

Hlperez

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2789
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Hlperez's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:44am

Hlperez's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Hlperez's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (39232)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9324) - you deserved it (61267)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

#18155
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (2924)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

#18155
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (2924)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

#15968
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49314) - you deserved it (3188)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11429) - you deserved it (40976)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

#14044
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17241) - you deserved it (46375)

On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

#10627
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63583) - you deserved it (2721)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by nycgirl424 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

#5431
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53477) - you deserved it (9223)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (3362)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (9724)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7420) - you deserved it (26243)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

#2212
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4781) - you deserved it (40351)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:34pm - love - by Princeton - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

#2212
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4781) - you deserved it (40351)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:34pm - love - by Princeton - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5623) - you deserved it (41697)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: