Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hlperez

Search for a member

Hlperez

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2368
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Hlperez's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Hlperez's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20480) - you deserved it (63887)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

#16418676
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33060) - you deserved it (15014)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm - misc - by OopsKid (man) - France

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

#16416725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51092) - you deserved it (4568)

On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

#16414850
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38045) - you deserved it (8280)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Miramichi - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16598) - you deserved it (76887)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10299) - you deserved it (44009)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59997) - you deserved it (12563)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

#16367769
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24733) - you deserved it (7005)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:26am - misc - by moe - United States

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

#16365473
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29257) - you deserved it (2834)

On 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30641) - you deserved it (3945)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34530) - you deserved it (6898)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32340) - you deserved it (3029)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

#16355450
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26947) - you deserved it (6236)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by Emoney1 - Canada

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

#16354230
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37322) - you deserved it (21709)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:55am - intimacy - by Motionless (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

#16354209
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (2575)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:48am - misc - by smarterthanmymum - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: