Hlperez

Search for a member

Hlperez

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3292
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Hlperez's page activity

Visits<b>pwagner014</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:23am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:44am

Hlperez's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Hlperez's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2011 at 7:21am / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

by OopsKid / 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

by Jess / 05/30/2011 at 11:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

by Miramichi / 05/30/2011 at 8:18am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

by yummy / 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

by milkymoo / 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm / Cyprus / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

by moe / 05/27/2011 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

by Username / 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

by KittenTime / 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

by Emoney1 / 05/26/2011 at 10:06am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

by Motionless / 05/26/2011 at 5:55am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

by smarterthanmymum / 05/26/2011 at 5:48am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous