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Hlperez

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Hlperez
  • Town/Country : reading, us
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2068
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Hlperez's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18967) - you deserved it (60896)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

#16418676
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31171) - you deserved it (14384)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm - misc - by OopsKid (man) - France

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

#16416725
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46147) - you deserved it (4201)

On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

#16414850
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35570) - you deserved it (7954)

On 05/30/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Miramichi - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14938) - you deserved it (72843)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9602) - you deserved it (41977)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53266) - you deserved it (9956)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

#16367769
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (6811)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:26am - misc - by moe - United States

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

#16365473
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (2114)

On 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26930) - you deserved it (3614)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29498) - you deserved it (5497)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (2918)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

#16355450
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (5945)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by Emoney1 - Canada

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

#16354230
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34095) - you deserved it (20379)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:55am - intimacy - by Motionless (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

#16354209
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (2383)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:48am - misc - by smarterthanmymum - United Kingdom



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