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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher; I've already given students detention for falling asleep in class this year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5177) - you deserved it (25749)
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (4426)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35567) - you deserved it (5428)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (10236)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18186) - you deserved it (3153)
On 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by hdkgdkvdjd - United States (California)
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19886) - you deserved it (2844)
On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14047) - you deserved it (44578)
On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40976) - you deserved it (5771)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18149) - you deserved it (15228)
On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (66091)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36947) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (7016)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (11773)
On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18035) - you deserved it (1806)
On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)
Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22785) - you deserved it (2663)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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