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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Hitsuji's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Allergic / 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
by nevasurprised / 01/10/2012 at 9:50am / Germany / Work
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
by Whyme / 01/09/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
by mjbx / 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Love
Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML
by hdkgdkvdjd / 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by godhatesme / 12/10/2011 at 3:45am / United States / Intimacy
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy