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Hitsuji

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Hitsuji

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2624
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 11:02am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 6:57am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 5:54pm<b>tialeanne</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 11:26pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:36pm<b>s0m3guy2010</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 2:38pm

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Hitsuji's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50822) - you deserved it (9793)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17273) - you deserved it (83426)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My team mates waved and said "Bye POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML

#154058
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75968) - you deserved it (5000)

On 02/27/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by ap84 - United States (California)

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

#117948
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44779) - you deserved it (7007)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14326) - you deserved it (60252)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you deserved it (8298)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML

#35636
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35398) - you deserved it (7288)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by buster (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML

#30377
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39850) - you deserved it (4745)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by atterz123 (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10905) - you deserved it (68422)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

#4745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32508) - you deserved it (9099)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (4915)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17570) - you deserved it (2459)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I warned my boss that I couldn't take part in a very important meeting I've been working on for 6 months (my son is ill). "Never mind" he said, "We'll just put a pot plant on your seat". FML

#465
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21810) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/07/2008 at 10:21pm - love - by Butterfly - Sent from mobile version



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