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Hitsuji

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Hitsuji
  • Town/Country : Blankity, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1979
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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Hitsuji's favorite FMLs

Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML

#1658004
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22181) - you deserved it (43131)

On 05/05/2009 at 10:17am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my boss about her children. She told me she didn’t want them to develop any problems by letting them sleep with the light on. I didn’t tell her last night I slept with the light on because I’m scared of ghosts. FML

#1622822
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14468) - you deserved it (31598)

On 05/04/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by pussy (woman) - Italy

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248119) - you deserved it (14290)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (78253)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sick on an airplane. As we were taking off, I felt like I was ready to hurl. I was sitting in the window seat and was unable to get up in time to go to the bathroom so I was forced to grab the nearest container to puke in. It was a glass of juice belonging to the woman next to me. FML

#1142916
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36432) - you deserved it (8606)

On 04/20/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by thompson773 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36273) - you deserved it (12252)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (153291) - you deserved it (7480)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88010) - you deserved it (26171)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (45281)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

#791194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47872) - you deserved it (4276)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

#706614
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (71795)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

#699285
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79208) - you deserved it (3869)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:16am - work - by matte (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

Today, I was writing a very important email to my college professor. I went upstairs for something and came back down to send it. I later asked him today why he hadn't responded to which he said "I'm flattered...but can't." My roommate had added "love you xxx" at the end of the email. FML

#315906
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48117) - you deserved it (6263)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by dntstopmenow (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



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