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Hitsuji

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Hitsuji

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2671
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 11:02am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 6:57am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 5:54pm<b>tialeanne</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 11:26pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:36pm<b>s0m3guy2010</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 2:38pm

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Hitsuji's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37829) - you deserved it (3362)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27657) - you deserved it (2335)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML

#8074881
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (4280)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:11am - love - by black_commet08 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I panicked when I felt a hard bump on the side of my stomach. I thought I had appendicitis. Turns out it was my ab muscles. I've been overweight so long I didn't know what they felt like. FML

#8063037
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7855) - you deserved it (22723)

On 02/09/2010 at 8:16pm - health - by conchita (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML

#7916627
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (6162)

On 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm - misc - by LynnJ (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

#7339012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26679) - you deserved it (3756)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20114) - you deserved it (6118)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22144) - you deserved it (4007)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38649) - you deserved it (4119)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30701) - you deserved it (6914)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

#6753816
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (5855)

On 12/14/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by fire - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15269) - you deserved it (28071)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42350) - you deserved it (3247)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

#6081192
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27172) - you deserved it (10624)

On 10/31/2009 at 7:08am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML

#6069293
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (6429)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)



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