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Hitsuji

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Hitsuji
  • Town/Country : Blankity, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1938
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Hitsuji's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28365) - you deserved it (18415)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43982) - you deserved it (5786) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (10902)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28798) - you deserved it (2585)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46038) - you deserved it (5562)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16778) - you deserved it (35722)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38945) - you deserved it (6911)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27677) - you deserved it (3048)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15453) - you deserved it (44388)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36005) - you deserved it (6802)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (3280)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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