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Hitsuji

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Hitsuji

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2686
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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Hitsuji's page activity

Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 11:02am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 6:57am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 5:54pm<b>tialeanne</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 11:26pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:36pm<b>s0m3guy2010</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 2:38pm

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Hitsuji's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45085) - you deserved it (8984)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38351) - you deserved it (3615)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46419) - you deserved it (4714)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42322) - you deserved it (2470)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49763) - you deserved it (8533)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60562) - you deserved it (20232)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32449) - you deserved it (5263)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79749) - you deserved it (8239)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33478) - you deserved it (5048)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49446) - you deserved it (24465)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41291) - you deserved it (3827)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (3234)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31396) - you deserved it (12366)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24668) - you deserved it (4322)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23166) - you deserved it (3207)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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