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Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43452) - you deserved it (6382)
On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42584) - you deserved it (27492)
On 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6181) - you deserved it (69499)
On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51732) - you deserved it (4402)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by Jess-zee (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (44438)
On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30739) - you deserved it (75088)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a first date with a guy that included dinner, pool and pretty good conversation. Around Midnight he yawned and said the beer was making him sleepy, so he took me home. I wasn't tired so I changed and went out with some friends... and saw him on the dance floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68675) - you deserved it (5125)
On 04/13/2009 at 11:58am - love - by forrealiluvmyslf (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60749) - you deserved it (2700)
On 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm - kids - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64200) - you deserved it (158241)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27228) - you deserved it (96448)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, the really hot guy that works in the same building as me came to work after being away for the past two days. I said "Look who finally decided to come to work." His response: "I had a death in the family, thanks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3727) - you deserved it (12488)
On 03/12/2009 at 2:57pm - work - by ... - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (20540) - you deserved it (74721)
On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, i walked into starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, " NO". There was a 'now hiring' sign in the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36023) - you deserved it (3746)
On 03/01/2009 at 10:03pm - work - by timmyb (man) - United States (California)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71380) - you deserved it (16794)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40009) - you deserved it (2810)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Ren (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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