About Hiphuray4peas : FML is my daily guilty pleasure!
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Hiphuray4peas's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML
by browngirl / 09/29/2013 at 12:16am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
by Undercooked / 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML
by Jamie / 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by anonymous / 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm / United States / Love
by Kit / 09/16/2013 at 7:09am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love
by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Retarded / 09/05/2013 at 2:57am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML
by lostinspace / 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/27/2013 at 3:21am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Geek
Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 5:58pm / Mexico / Health
Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML
by Having a pretty sister sucks. / 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm / Thailand (Nonthaburi) / Geek
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
by why / 08/17/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds… Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex… Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to…