About Hiphuray4peas : FML is my daily guilty pleasure!
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
Hiphuray4peas's favorite FMLs
by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by immature / 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Work
by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML
by 919191 / 08/18/2014 at 9:26am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids
by hopeless romantic / 08/14/2014 at 11:06am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 11:19am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML
by Baustigt / 08/06/2014 at 9:34am / Australia / Animals
by ew / 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML
by photoman / 07/14/2014 at 5:31am / Austria (Wien) / Geek
by guriak / 07/13/2014 at 9:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by professorsdaughter / 06/19/2014 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML
by the lannisters send their retards / 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
- Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he… Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our… Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples.…
- Today, my economics teacher gives us a lot of photocopies, so I told her that she kills pandas by… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…