About Hiphuray4peas : FML is my daily guilty pleasure!
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17737) - you deserved it (29601)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16744) - you deserved it (2069)
On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19562) - you deserved it (1614)
On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15873) - you deserved it (1449)
On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5256) - you deserved it (16212)
On 06/29/2012 at 9:30am - work - by xxccruzxx - United States
Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18292) - you deserved it (3495)
On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)
Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24002) - you deserved it (2274)
On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23513) - you deserved it (1230)
On 06/22/2012 at 5:13pm - kids - by pon-3 (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19196) - you deserved it (1158)
On 06/22/2012 at 12:14pm - work - by lynn (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17156) - you deserved it (2670)
On 06/22/2012 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4634) - you deserved it (48952)
On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16305) - you deserved it (1978)
On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18036) - you deserved it (549)
On 06/13/2012 at 5:08am - misc - by pandora (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21891) - you deserved it (1289)
On 06/11/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by fordneagles (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43221) - you deserved it (2315)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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