About Hiphuray4peas : FML is my daily guilty pleasure!
Hiphuray4peas's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
Hiphuray4peas's favorite FMLs
by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by immature / 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Work
by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML
by 919191 / 08/18/2014 at 9:26am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids
by hopeless romantic / 08/14/2014 at 11:06am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 11:19am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML
by Baustigt / 08/06/2014 at 9:34am / Australia / Animals
by ew / 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML
by photoman / 07/14/2014 at 5:31am / Austria (Wien) / Geek
by guriak / 07/13/2014 at 9:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by professorsdaughter / 06/19/2014 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML
by the lannisters send their retards / 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
- Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of… Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and… Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked…