About Hiphuray4peas : FML is my daily guilty pleasure!
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Hiphuray4peas's favorite FMLs
by badmom / 11/06/2015 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Smeagogole / 07/02/2015 at 12:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous
Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML
by ShampooThief / 04/11/2015 at 11:05pm / United States / Kids
by brazo667 / 02/09/2015 at 6:07pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Sisterly Love / 01/02/2015 at 12:37am / United States (Michigan) / Health
by woofwoof / 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm / Turkey (Izmir) / Animals
Today, my wife started a 24 hour urine collection as directed by the doctor for her pregnancy. She has to collect the urine in a gallon jug, and refrigerate it. At lunch time, I went to go get the rest of my sandwich but was unable to find it, until she suggested I "look under the piss jug." FML
by Nolimit2217 / 12/29/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love
Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML
by whovian / 12/25/2014 at 10:17am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Stupid / 12/22/2014 at 2:45am / Australia (Tasmania) / Transportation
by sting / 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm / United States (California) / Animals
by drreeeewwww / 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm / United States / Animals
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by MegasaurusRex89 / 10/17/2014 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey… Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone… Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand.…