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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 July 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 19095
  • Number of comments : 1871
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 112 posted

About Hiimhaileypotter : Hi, I'm Hailey :) I've got a lot going on like school, surgery recovery, work, my pet-sitting business, and my animals (recently have begun riding horses again) - so I don't get on here as much as I wish I could! If you message me and I take forever to respond, please don't take it personally!

Did you know that birds are reptiles?

Obsessions of the day: Grey's Anatomy, Dexter, A Song of Ice & Fire.

I miss the days on FML where people would respond to the "What's an OP?" questions with answers like "orange platypus" and "orangutan penis." Now people only give the correct boring.

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Hiimhaileypotter's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60172) - you deserved it (9572)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, my husband decided he would rather rage-wank to my mum's Facebook profile picture than make love to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47843) - you deserved it (5092)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by talktothefacecausethehandswanking (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (58618) - you deserved it (67499)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41910) - you deserved it (10327)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (46132)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48982) - you deserved it (4301)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my husband of 12 years has been sleeping with my best friend of even longer for who knows how long. She actually tried to turn it around on me and implied that it was my fault for finding out about it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59443) - you deserved it (3619)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by wow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60088) - you deserved it (4185)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41096) - you deserved it (3733)

On 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43118) - you deserved it (6620)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52620) - you deserved it (9432)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37818) - you deserved it (16687)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52256) - you deserved it (5557)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML


I agree, your life sucks (66121) - you deserved it (6214)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

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Monday 5 October 2015

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