Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Hiimhaileypotter

Offline (the 07/17/2014 at 6:44am) | Search for a member

Hiimhaileypotter

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6962
  • Number of comments : 1402
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 70 posted

About Hiimhaileypotter : MODS: i have 1 published FML but it's not showing up and im not sure why :p Kik: haileyandpenny (chat me)Instagram: haileyandpenny (follow me! ♥)I'm on my phone so I do respond to messages fairly quickly (sometimes I forget to check). So if you'd like to talk to me feel free to message.I'm an equestrian; I'm 19, and I have all sorts of animals from pet rats to chickens. :)I'm a country girl at heart and I'd rather be in a barn than at the mall. ;)

Hiimhaileypotter's page activity

Visits<b>pasta_power</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Vanshikap</b> - 14 hours ago<b>konstantinos616</b> - 24 hours ago<b>jawidm</b> - yesterday at 7:28pm<b>meredith_ks</b> - yesterday at 5:37pm<b>julako</b> - yesterday at 12:57pm<b>whyyoulittle</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:35pm<b>glomb10</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:19pm<b>Lawlipop07</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:42pm<b>atav</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:36pm<b>vibekillerlol</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:34am<b>kaylaaa01</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:43am<b>staaacey</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:05pm<b>maebelline12</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:56pm<b>nickreymann</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:01am<b>nesteremily</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:01am<b>redneck_mechanic</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:22pm

Hiimhaileypotter's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of Hiimhaileypotter's badges

Hiimhaileypotter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33315) - you deserved it (15244)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64261) - you deserved it (16339)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38378) - you deserved it (6667)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

#20558292
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44194) - you deserved it (22844)

On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40803) - you deserved it (6074)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (7135)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29453) - you deserved it (23300)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36606) - you deserved it (9728)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48145) - you deserved it (14383)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML

#20544551
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15207) - you deserved it (29550)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML

#20543666
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30506) - you deserved it (10981)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50360) - you deserved it (6514)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32811) - you deserved it (50703) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

#20539958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (5819)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: