About Hiimhaileypotter : I have lots of pets including things that most people don't consider pets, such as chickens and rats. I'm a country girl from the USA but I'm a major nerd and love stuff such as the Elder Scrolls games (been playing since I was 8), Harry Potter (began reading the books by myself when I was in 2nd grade), Iron Man, Thor & the other Avengers, and Lord of the Rings. Wanna talk? Just message me.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20244) - you deserved it (7659)
On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27194) - you deserved it (2045)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29522) - you deserved it (2117)
On 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm - health - by teeth (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (4574)
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (513)
On 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm - animals - by roze198765 - United States
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45759) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37422) - you deserved it (4230)
On 06/18/2011 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10625) - you deserved it (35851)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39363) - you deserved it (9030)
On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9913) - you deserved it (28352)
On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28189) - you deserved it (2459)
On 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by rockyrocket (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34208) - you deserved it (2565)
On 04/26/2011 at 2:18am - love - by SadGuy - United Kingdom
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15716) - you deserved it (21465)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28681) - you deserved it (4370)
On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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